Lust

Oh, his fingers running down her skin
tracing each centimeter with his lips
tasting the sweetness in every inch
oh, such a tasty sin

The way she embraces him with her warm
as he traps her with his arms
they are falling for this lustfull charm
oh, they forgot they can't

oh, such steamy scene
such a lustful world
he is a sinful prince
and for her
oh, I'm such a dirty girl

Decieving Smile

You asked me for a kiss
as your piercing eyes searched for my lips
making my blood rush and my heart beat increase
but what if you are just trying to decieve?

how do I know its true?
how do I know its not another lie?
how do I know if you feel like I do?
how to forget about your once decieving smile?

Maybe

Maybe I’m too deep now
Maybe I have no more choice
Maybe my strength will never be found
forever annoyed by this breaking noise

Maybe I’ll be forever weak
Maybe I’ll stay like this
in a world where reality and fantasy do not meet
Maybe this hollowness will never cease

Yet I’ll try
I’ll try to survive
to look for that light
Oh, these cold nights

Yet I’ll try again
to become the strongest I can
because even in this darkness
I don’t want to let go of your hand

Maybe I’m really too weak
Maybe I can’t get any stronger
but I’m begging you pleasestay with me until I get this

Sorry

I have been a little down lately, I know
and I wish you’ll forgive me, my love
is not like I don’t want to be with you
it’s just that…am I enough?

This may be corny, I’m sure
but I just want to make you smile
I don’t know how much you can endure
can you be with me one more night?

I keep dragging you down
but without you I feel so lonely in this town
do you still want to run,
run away to a place that will never be found?

This may sound stupid, my dear
but I still have this lingering fear
that breaks what is so blissful and clear
do you see my silence tear?

However, I still want to be with you
I still want to be between your arms
to be the reason of the things you do
to protect you from any harm

Yet, I want to hold your hand
to be with you when you cry
to kiss you every single chance
to be the one that makes you smile

I have been a little down lately, I know
but wish you remember, my love
that I’m still happy thanks to you
because your smile alone is enough

Deadly Lullaby

In a time long, long ago—so long ago that many have forgotten—lived a happy town. People rejoiced in happiness and lived gratefully each day. Such a wonderful place.

However, I’m not going to tell you about its bliss or glory. About how humble they were or how they felt blessed
.
Oh no. I’m going to tell you the unknown story. Its fall. The story of how that little happy town became forgotten. The unknown story of that unknown little town.

It all happened that “normal” day. Maybe Fate was tire of seeing people happy. Maybe Fate finally got sick of their smiles. Or maybe, Fate finally carried out his twisted plan.
From one of the little houses, came a squeaky noises that bothered the entire family—soon it spread all across town. No one knew what it was, but they knew it came from the rat holes that invaded the house. They set on traps to kill these unwanted visitors. They used the classic mouse trap and some chemicals—incredible poisons they found in an unwanted temple—to catch them and kill them. It was a total success. It seemed that all those rats died upon the venom of the chemicals. But, oh boy, of course that was not the end of it—Fate loves to play.

After some days of peace and joy, the horror attacked that little town once more. The squeaky noises that were once heard, invaded each house again. However, this time was stronger, more horrifying. They put on traps and spread out chemicals and noticed that it did nothing but increase the noises and the mess that were created at night.

-It can’t be rats- A man in the crowd yelled out during the meeting the town made.

-We should check what are enemy are before attacking.- Another suggested.

The entire town decided that was the best way to go.

They held on to their improvised weapons as they walked toward the biggest house of the entire town, where the noises were heard the most. The mayor of the town knocked on its huge wooden door, but no one replied. The mayor waited and then knocked again.

-No one is there.- A husky voice suddenly called out from the crowd. Everyone turned to see an old winkled woman. Her eyes were filled with hatred and her skinny self was shaking with agony. –That family disappeared already- She said with pain. No one believed her. –The chemicals you used were treasures of our ancestors to keep peace with this hollow world’s pests. You used them, now you have no protection. You cursed yourself.-

Everyone stared in disbelief. What was this old lady saying? Where did she come from?

-Stop saying nonsense!-The mayor yelled.

-Well, you’ll soon believe me and you’ll soon be begging for my help- The old woman replied and in a zaash she disappeared.

Everyone began to look around and to each other looking for answer to what just happened.

-That’s the old woman that lives outside town.- A little boy remembered.
-No matter who she is, is still nonsense what she was saying.- The mayor replied and with a kick he opened the wooden door.

The house was indeed empty. Everyone stood there in shock, as the words of the old lady echoed the empty house.

-They must be inside.- The sheriff said with encouragement.

A small crowd separated from the original one and entered the big house with small and light steps. They turned to the right, and the house was empty—a total mess, but empty. They headed to the left, but it was the same situation. Fearing what the old lady had said, they walked with shivering legs toward the second floor. All of the sudden, those familiar noises began to sound again. They stopped. Stared at each other; none of them were brave enough to accept they were afraid, so they were looking for a total coward between them. However, all of them were too proud to accept they were scared.

After a moment of no movement, they turned to the right and began to walk with even smaller steps. As they got nearer to the first room, the annoying noises grew. They stopped for a while, hesitating…now, looking for the bravest one among them all. The sheriff took a deep breath and put his hand in the handle. The door opened slowly, showing an imaged that made them wished it never opened.

From that wooden door, the darkness emerged. The sounds were now like pounding hammers in everyone’s head. No one dare to enter, no one dare to move. All of the sudden, two little red light balls surfaced in the dark room. They glittered away with evilness.

-What…- One of the men tried to speak. The words were struggling in his throat. A second later, the entire room was covered with red light balls. The sheriff in an accidental move taken because of fear, stretched out his hand and making his flash light illuminate the entire room.

It WAS rats after all. They were somehow deformed. Their skin seemed to be so much darker and their eyes now shone like blood. Their teeth were bigger and their entire body seemed as if they were ready to explode. Part of their flesh and bones were exposed, creating an intoxicating smell—or was it the devoured dead bodies of the former owners? Even with all of these, they were indeed rats.

They froze in horror. Was it true the gruesome scene they were watching? In that exact moment, the old lady’s voice began to ring in their minds. A cursed. It kept repeating. A curse.
No one outside knew what was going on, until a loud scream astonished everyone. In the confusion, they managed to see one of the guys that had entered coming out with his shirt all splattered with blood.

-The…the…rats…-He tried to say as he crawled out to the sun light.

What happened next was the most fun for Fate. The entire town was being attacked. The little rats that once wanted only cheese and leftovers, were craving for human flesh and had a thirst for human blood as they turned each time bigger, each time more gruesome.

-Help!- A voice called out with desperation from the outside yard. The man stopped roughly as he tried to catch his breath back. The wooden house in front of him seemed so old as if it had millions of years. It looked as if it was going to fall down at any moment. The man wanted to call out again, but his throat had given up upon him and he was afraid to knock.

When he tried to open his mouth again, the door opened slowly, giving away it was old; the old woman that was once in front of the big house appeared.

-What is it that you want?- The old lady was exhausted.

-You were right.- the man admitted-We need your help!-

The old lady grinned. –oh young man.- She began to say with all the patience of the world now, still smiling. -I won’t be of any help. Is too late now.- She added.

-But there must be something!- The man cried out.-We will pay any cost!

The old lady noticed how desperate the man was, and that blissful yet twisted smile draw itself in her face again. –Well, well. I think I have something that might help you.- The woman turned around and disappeared in the darkness of her house. The man waited patiently in the deserted yard.

Minutes later, the old lady came out with a little girl-She’s Aliza.- The man’s eyes were fixed on the girl. Her long dark hair flowed like the water of a dark damp into her waist and her dark eyes were as big as the moon. –She will help you.- The old lady assured.

The man stared in disbelief. There was no way a little girl that looked of almost 10 could do any good in a time of massacre. –You are not going to trust me again?- The old lady threaten. The girl stayed quite.

The man shook his head and grabbed the little girl’s hand in desperation and ran away. As they both began to fade in the road toward the town the old lady yelled-Now she is yours! Remember to pay her back well!- But the warning was never heard.

At the entrance of the now doomed little town, appeared a sweaty and bloody man holding the hand of a little girl wearing a beautiful black dress.

-Now..now…what?- The man asked to himself as the screams grew louder from his beloved town.

The little girl saw the shadows; the rats moving, hunting people. She smiled to herself as she let go of the man’s hand, and walked toward the town with no fear at all.

She walked ‘til she was further enough, and she opened her little mouth and began to move her little lips. The most angelical voice began to sing and hum a song that was filled with hope. She turned away when she noticed she had finally caught the attentions of the little creatures that looked like rats. She turned away and began to skip her way toward the nearest river. She skipped and skipped and skipped as she continued emitting that beautiful song, and the rats followed her all the way.

Finally, in front of the river she jumped to one of the wet rocks and turned away to watch how the rats that followed her drawn in the clear river.

The work was done, and the girl smiled with satisfaction. The little girl skipped back to the town, with her prized already in mind.

-Oh my dear!- The mayor cried with joy in the entrance of the town. –You saved us all!- The little girl stayed quiet, waiting anxiously for her reward. The bunch of adults that were looking down at her were perplexed when they noticed she wanted something in return.

-Oh little girl, we have nothing to give you.- The mayor lied. –All our goods have been turned to trash because of those hideous creatures.- The little girl knew they were lying. -How about this? In reward for helping us all, you can come and play whenever you want!- The mayor’s wife suggested. The girl’s eyes were filled with sadness. She wanted a prize. She didn’t want a place to play. She wanted something she could play with alone. She didn’t want company, not at all.

-What are you staring?- One man of the crowd grumped. We have to work now, go back to where you came from. Play time will be another day. – And they all turned away, leaving the little girl alone.

The little girl grinned again, but this time her eyes were mad. She was gone by night, but the next day she returned for she was granted the liberty to play. She went to the park were all the other little boys and girls where and she sat in a lonely spot. They played and played but none of them talked to her—not that she wished for someone to talk to her. She had returned to town for her prize.

After a moment of being silent, the little girl opened her little mouth again and the song began to ring loud throughout the town once more. However, this time a bunch of diabolic rats didn’t follow her. This time, the little kids that were in the playground dropped their toys and walked back home with their eyes blank and their smiles wiped away. The little girl smiled again.

That night of that fateful day, the voice of the little girl sounded again in a low volume in each house. The first to wake up were the little kids. Their eyes were popping out, their skin were turning gray, and their smiles were now complete wiped away. They stood up from their cozy bed and stumbled their way outside. They were no longer conscious, they were no longer kids.

The kids that once wanted only sweets and wished for toys to play with now craved for human flesh and had a thirst for human blood. The ones that woke up saw their kids’ dead eyes before they were devoured. The ones that didn’t woke up, never got to… and this deadly scene in Fate’s favorite game was accompanied with the little girl’s song sounding loud through the town from the dark skies. The next day, the town was deserted. The kids were gone. The adults were nothing but bones. The entire town was empty. The houses, the restaurants, the school, the playground…everything; now the little girl got her prize: Something she can play with—in—all by herself.

Strength

So I hold on to this
For this gave me strength
Saving me from the blizzard mist
You became my only friend

So I grab tightly your hand
Planning on never letting go
Even after the last grains of sand
With strength I’ll stand

However, you became my only strength
The only force inside my soul
The only one that understands
That’s why I’m not letting you go.

But I fear I’m depending too much on you
I’m afraid I might tire you out
For you are the reason of everything I do
I’m afraid of you leaving me now

So I’ll try to fight against fate
and put effort in everything I do
and hope strength I can gain
so I can stand up for me and you

Prank Call

I drifted through the days
Unconscious of how I was falling
Convinced there were no Fairy Tales
That I knew all about loving.

I lived on thinking I had it all
That all I needed was in my hand
But then, entered a prank call
I got lost in an unknown wonderland.

The caller was the little cupid
Seemed he finally got bored and shot me
Making me a little dumb and very stupid
I’m falling, can’t you see?

I have opened my eyes, dear
Something unknown to me
During all these years
It was you, how could it be?

You swept me off my feet
Showing me something I hadn’t seen
Craving your lips
Tasting your skin

So, with just your smile
And a thin arrow of cupid
I had come to realized
That love makes you stupid

So, with just your smile
And fate’s prank call
I had come to realized
That in reality, I had nothing at all.

I drift through my days
Realizing nothing is ever enough
Convinced that there are crappy fairy tales
That I know nothing about love

Words

These words have their own life
They flow with their own vibe
Is not about the rhythm or the style
Is about the silent tears the writer cries

These words express pain
The joy of a mindless game
They describe what’s lame
Testimonies of the mistakes I made

These words go beyond my voice
Since everything is posted in every letter
My way of making an impact, causing noise

These words embrace my feelings
Spreading myself in each line
Knowing the true me as you keep reading
The twisted thoughts I have inside

So don’t just think of them as ink, letters or lines
They are more than just words
They are the hollow voices of my mind
Story teller of my life

Will You?

Even if this fragil heart of mine turns to dust
even if every single hope is lost
I want you to know
that nothing will ever get between us.

But will you still be there every single night
killing all these deadly fears of mine?
Will you still be my ever lasting guiding light
even when everything is dark, even when I'm out of sight?

How I wish for you to know how I am inside
How part of me slowly dies
How I wish to hold you every single night
and fall asleep under the shine of your eyes.

So tell me now my dear
Would you hold my wounded heart
and keep me from falling apart?So tell me now honey
would you save me from the dark
and heal all my bloody scars?

How I wish for you to know
How my heart's beating is getting slow
How I wish to be able to show
that without you I am just a hollow soul.

So will you still look at me with those dearing eyes
breaking me free from all these painful lies
Will you still hold me with your warmth smile
even if it's really forever, even after so many time?

Would You?

Would you let me fall
if I forget how to lie?
would you let me crawl
if I can't fake a smile?
would you seal me between walls
if the fake me suddenly dies?

I have lived my entire life pretending
believing that that's how I am going to get my happy ending
But now I'm lost and I have no idea where this is leading
I have lost myself and I have no idea of what's love meaning.

My face hurts for pretending that coward smile
My heart breaks for telling all those lies
My soul shatters with all my lost fights
and after all, I'm still alone tonight
even with you by my side
even with you holding me tight

The emptiness over takes me even when you are here
since you have no idea of who I really am, my dear
and I have pretend so much that I can't no longer stop
I have been lying for all these years
that losing you for the real me, now I fear.

So tell me now honey,
Would you let me fall
if I stop saying yes to what you say?
Would you let me crawl
if everything begins to change during these days?
would you let me die between walls
if I let the fake me fade away?

Autobiography

You smile to the crowd
you cry to yourself
you say you are okay out loud
when you just feel like an empty shelf

You hide yourself in the dark
you break your own heart
it seems like you were lost from the start
tell me,
why do you try to be someone else so hard?

You say it's okay
with that smile so weak so fake
you say it's alright
why do you keep up with these lies?

You keep on pretending you are fine
yet you keep crying at night
you keep on going around with that fake smile
yet you say everything is alright

You go around without seeing what's wrong
and still you try to pretend to be strong
you have been scared for so long
that now you are just all alone

No matter what you say
you will always be a coward as you are today
since you can't even try to stop this pitiful fate
No matter how it is
it seems like you keep fading away
you keep being so fake so lame
so lame that you can't even write this poem in first person
with your own name

Sobre el amor

¿Que es amor? tu me preguntas
y me exiges la repuesta
que defina tal concepto
no es tan fácil empresa.

Por amor algunos matan
y muchos mas que se mueren
por amor hay quienes viven
y quienes vivir no pueden.

Por amor se hacen guerras
que terminan en matanza
y también muchas peleas
que terminan en la cama.

Por amor y por pendejos
cometemos mil errores
y por ese mismo amor
suplicamos cien perdones.

¿Pero que chingaos es ese amor
que todo mundo proclama?
Por el que tantos se mueren
por el cual tantos se matan.

Caricias dirán algunos
besitos me dirán otros
corazones, flores, dulces...
regalitos otro poco.

"el amor es sentimiento"
me gritará algún idiota
"es pasión del corazón"
me cantará alguna otra.

Total que...

cada quien se lo pinta
como mejor le parece.
a como sabe mas rico
y cuanto mas le apetece.

¡pero amor no es conveniencia!
ni los regalos, ni flores
¡ni siquiera cojer mucho!
mucho menos las pasiones.

Amor no son las canciones
con letras cursis y tontas.
ni pensar que sea matanzas
o tragedias "amorosas".

El amor es mas que el tacto.
el gusto o hasta el olfato
mucho mas que las canciones
mucho mas que los regalos.

Es el compromiso diario
es dar todo aunque te duela
no solo una pinche cena
a la luz de unas velas.

No es nomas sentir bonito
y escuchar las campanitas
cuando das tu primer beso
de piquito o de lenguita.

Es más que estas rimas tontas
sobrepasa las palabras
Y solo se le conoce
en la vida cotidiana.

Cuando le pierdes el asco
a tu pareja amada
que hasta le aguantas los pedos
y las camisas sudadas.

Cuando ya no sientes lindo
y aun así sabes que le amas
porque al no tenerle cerca
luego luego se le extraña.

O amanecer a lado
de aquella que tanto amas
aunque sabes que con el tiempo
ya no harán cochinadas.

Pues se habrán hecho viejos
los cuerpos que su alma guardan
Pero el lazo que les une
no se envejece con nada.

Y teniendo esto cuenta...

Concluyo que yo te amo
mas allá de cualquier verso
y a pesar de tantos años

con todo y tus cualidades
y a pesar de tus defectos
aguantando tus corajes
y saboreando tus besos.

Queriéndote mucho, mucho,
mas de lo que un día pensé
con conciencia del gran riesgo
que implica entregar tu ser.

Y no me arrepiento en nada
de lo que hice o nunca fue
pues cada segundo vale
por cuanto te hace crecer.

Y contigo crezco mucho
y me lleno de alegría
para se mejor persona
y amarte cada día.

Poet

She stays up at night
trying to arrange the words in her mind
trying to express what she feels with a rhyme.

she writes over and over again
about a broken heart, a lonely soul and a lost friend
she keeps writing without a name
about a cruel lie, a hollow dream and a loveless game

she doesn't struggle through the words
although she's deeply hurt
she writes about the good and the dirt
breaking all her protective walls

She can't feel the time passing by
she remembers every lover's smile
every judging eye
and all those senseless lies

She found a way to stop the tears she cried
she found a way to end those sleepless nights
she found a way to say what's in her mind
she found a way to block her desire to die

The pain drains with each line
the words show whats real
she no longer has to hide behind a smile
she's finally saying what she feels

She writes about the ones she loves
about a friend who showed her how to be strong
about a dear one who had been with her all along
about the one who showed her the real meaning of love

She writes about the ones that doesn't care
about the ones that are always there
about the nightmares and her biggest fears
about everything, clear or unclear

She writes her heart, mind and soul out
and this might be the only thing that makes her proud
and this might be the only thing that makes her stand out
and today, poem and myself is what I write about

Our Broken Song

The darkness taking over my body
my mind still numbed after the lame ending of our love story
my soul is breaking for losing all it's glory
a broken smile appears after you said your hollow sorry

The blood pouring down the wound of my heart
it's making the surroundings turn blurry and dark
The uneven breathing of my lungs
fails with the background melody of our song
and the part of me that slowly dies
keeps repeating with your cold voice every single lie.

Oh, I blame myself for falling into your web
I was just so wrong in every single step
now an empty shelf and a bleeding heart are the only things left
Heh, I was doomed since the day we met.

Don't worry, I won't ask you if it was real
My hopes have already fade away
I won't ask you how did you feel
because I know that lies were everything you said
and knowing more would just make me ill.

Oh, I blame myself for not being strong
For everything I did was wrong
now I'm just playing along
since I'm just a broken girl humming the same stupid love song

How Come

I’m just a little girl
amazed by everything
who goes with the flow of the world
filled with pain and egoism

I’m just another forgotten princess, dear
with a broken fairy tale
living her biggest fear
since everything in my life failed.

That's why I want to know, my friend
why are you here with me?
that's something I can’t understand
how could it be?

how could it be that you are here
after all these twisted years
how come you stayed with me
through darkness and fears

how could it be that you stayed
after everything that happened
how come you don't mind what they said
I just hope this won’t end

So how come you help me, this broken girl
how come you go through everything
even against the world
breaking all my pain and egoism

Fakeness

Here we are
in a empty room
all these shiny stars...
but why does it feel so doomed?

Maybe is the fakeness of your smile
which is bringing us down
maybe is the thorn in each lie
which is causing this annoying sound
Or just maybe because tonight
you burried the real you underground

the wind gets heavier with every word you say
our temper gets higher with each victim role you play
our hopes die with every smile you fake
oh, when did you go away? when did you fade away?

So here we are
ready for the second round
as our hearts break apart
each of us fall heavily into the ground

Still, you stand there just fine
have you gone blind?
can't you see your are living such a awful lie?
in which plastic is real
and nobody cares about how you feel

Are you sure you want it this way?
forgetting about what you have for plastic?
so you are letting the real you fade away
just because you want to look fantastic?

The nights get colder as you turn away
our friendship shattered with every mistake we made
our hearts fall with each step you take
oh, when did my friend disappear? when did you take her away?

Fade

Can you hear the words I'm saying?
can you listen to the curses I'm yelling?
have you forgotten that I'm still waiting?
Oh dear, when did this begin fading?

Your smile is fading away with time
and I am once alone tonight
trying to fool my lonely mind
trying to pretend that everyhting is fine

but tell me, when did I begin wandering alone?
when did it all go wrong?
how did we get into this storm?

Remember: I'll smile as long as you smile.
Math equation of the day! Bunny + Orange = Noodles (now, find a meaning! XD)

Why don't you smile for me today?

Al Carajo con el Molde

Unos de mis dichos favoritos son: “Ellos se ríen porque soy rara y diferente…yo me rio porque son comunes e iguales.”

Cuando era pequeña, me acuerdo que hacia todo lo posible para quedar en el molde de la chica normal, la buena amiga y la confidente fiel. Hacia todo lo que hacían las otras chicas y las imitaba paso a paso. Me acuerdo que me obligaba a estar entre los populares. Una mierda total. Ellas no sabían nada de mí, y de hecho, yo no sabía ni un carajo sobre ellas. Pero aún así, sonreíamos, nos agarrábamos entre brazos y gritábamos “¡Somos amigas!”. Estúpido, pero cierto. Es como casi imposible de olvidar: las traiciones, la supuesta amistad, la hipocresía. Cosas que tú ni te imaginas que pasarían en escuelas primarias.

Debido a mi tonto trauma de primaria; me quede encerrada en mí más de lo normal. Estaba acostumbrada al hecho de que la gente se acercara a mí sin preguntar cómo estaba, pero para contarme sus problemas. Habían personas tan hipócritas, tan egoísta---no que yo sea una santa, sé que no lo soy. Termine de la forma más patética posible cuando entre a la secundaria. Sonriendo. Mis padres habían vuelto mi vida familiar en una cosa sin sentido; le habían quitado la definición a la palabra familia y le dieron un giro de 180º. Mi hermano estuvo ahí durante toda mi vida de una forma traslucida y ausente. Mis supuestos mejores amigos estaban creando una conspiración a nivel escolar contra mí---aún llamándose mis amigos. Y ¿yo qué hacía? Sonería. Nadie preguntaba, por eso pensé “a nadie le interesa”. Me volví tan encerrada en mí que me era difícil no sonreír. ¿Patético? Pase por muchas otras cosas aún más estúpidas y degradantes, hasta que por fin tome la decisión correcta.

¿Decisión correcta? Ser yo. Totalmente yo. En otras palabras, esta chica súper rara, ultra trastornada y mega emocional. Me reía por cosas que a otras chicas le daban asco, pero que a los chicos le causaban gracia. Me emocionaba por cada pendejada y me enojaba por cada mariconada. Comencé a expresar lo que sentía, no a las masas, pero para poder sentirme bien. Comencé a sonreír, de verdad. La gente me miraba raro, hacían comentarios de mí y todo lo que sea posible. ¿Y qué más da? Nunca en mi vida me sentí más cómoda.

Me di cuenta, posiblemente muy tarde, que no se trata sobre encajar en ese molde que te da la sociedad. Eso es mierda. Tienes todo el derecho de crear cualquier molde que se te dé la gana. Y todo el potencial también. Solo hay una regla. Sé original, sé tú. Al carajo con los moldes pre-creados para nosotros. Y aún cuando vayas a estar adentro ya de una categoría-- girly, tomboy, emo, metro, skater, rocker, punk—lo que sea, hazlo con estilo. Con tu propio estilo.

Un último pensamiento: “No des explicaciones sobre como vives; tus enemigos no te creerán y tus amigos no lo necesitan.” Siempre encontraras a alguien tan rara, trastornada y compatible contigo aún siendo diferentes. (Toma a V en cuenta, el es raro….MUY RARO.)

Descartando Al Principe Azul

Un príncipe azul. Un corcel blanco. Que llegue de la nada, en el instante de necesidad, y que acabe todo con un simple beso. Un chico que conoce los límites y que los respeta. Uno que sigue las reglas y esté lleno de modales y morales. Ese chico que aparece en los cuentos de hadas. Una fantasía que tiene cada niña y posiblemente que tiene muchas mujeres todavía. El chico que yo pensé que yo quería. Pero gracias a alguien me di cuenta de lo contrario. A la mierda con los corceles y las simple caras bonitas.

Hay una verdad que solo algunas aceptamos y otras niegan. Nosotras, las mujeres que decimos que queremos a este chico perfecto, muchas veces preferimos al chico malo. Sí. El chico malo. Ese que hace caras y que tiene inmoralidades que hasta personas del otro lado del mundo conoce. Aceptémoslo; la idea de tener a un príncipe azul se desvaneció el día que nos comenzó a salir granos. Queremos a un chico que sepa ser divertido, que cruce los límites. Queremos a uno que nos enseñe cosas que nuestros padres dijeron que era malo y cosas que harían a nuestras madres desmayarse. Queremos a ese chico que no sigue las reglas si no su emoción y sus creencias. Que se pare por sí mismo en una tierra de irreverencia. Un chico tan lleno de incoherencia que nos saca las carcajadas cada momento. Sí. Un chico malo. Uno que nos lleve a tomar. Uno que ya sepa todos los movimientos que de veras dan placer en la cama. No un borreguito al cual le tenemos que enseñar, ni un caballero que tenga miedo de rompernos.

Piénsenlo. Solo piénsenlo. ¿Prefieres al chico que se pone todo diplomático con alguien que te ha sido incoherente? ¿O prefieres a uno que reaccione volátilmente contra cualquiera persona que te quiera hacer daño? ¿Prefieres a un chico callado en una silla, leyendo libros o cosas por el estilo? ¿O uno que te este divirtiendo todo el tiempo posible?

La era de los príncipes azules han acabado. No es que vayamos por los patanes. Vamos por los chicos que sabemos que son buenos pero que aún así están llenos de incoherencias y tonterías. No buscamos a un chico que dependa de nada porque queremos depender de ellos. Aceptémoslo. Cuando se trata de romance, amor y placeres sexuales, preferimos al chico desbordado que daría todo de él. Al chico que no escucha a razones en momentos sentimentales. Al chico que nos enseña cosas de la vida que dijeron que era taboo. Ya no buscamos un cuento de hadas, si no una aventura sin indicaciones ni mapas.

No vamos por el príncipe azul porque queremos dejar de ser niñas. Queremos aprender cosas nuevas. Queremos arriesgarnos. Vamos por ese chico imbécil y torpe. Ese chico descarado y sinvergüenza. Ese chico que aun con todo eso, sabemos que nos quiere y nos desea. Queremos pasión de verdad; no un simple chico con cara bonita en un poni.

Cliché

Cliché. La palabra, el adjetivo que intentamos evitar de una forma fracasada. Una causa perdida. No importa cuanto digamos que somos diferentes, caemos en las garras de lo cliché. No importa cuantas veces gritamos que somos sólidos, nos ablandamos al instante.

¿No estás de acuerdo? No digo que al enamorarnos nos volvemos esta caja de arcoíris y flores. No. Lo de nombres cursis, regalos empalagosos y todas esas mierdas son más cosas trilladas que cliché. Pero si tú has estado enamorado---tan enterrado en este sentimiento---te darías cuenta que desde que dijiste “te amo”, fuiste arroyado por lo cliché.

¿No te has dado cuenta?... ¿en serio? ¿o tal vez no quieres aceptarlo? Primero, acuérdate de mi definición de cliché. Léelo. Analízalo. Y después reconsidera tu respuesta. Cuando digo cliché, no me refiero a las rosas y el exceso de chocolate. No me refiero a las cenas románticas, ni los CD mixtos. Me refiero al simple hecho de que cuando nos enamoramos---amor, no simple gusto o atracción o la famosa lujuria--- damos todo de nosotros sin razón alguna. ¿Te suena?¿Nunca has visto una película de romance y dicho bajo un suspiro: “A que esa es la típica chica que arriesga todo por el chico.”? Bueno, piénsalo así ahora: Si tuvieras una pareja ---el supuesto amor de tu vida---¿no serias como esa chica de la película?¿No darías todo de ti también?

Hay otro cliché en la cual siempre caemos. Aseguramos que somos fuertes e independientes. Demostramos que podemos solo contra el mundo---bueno, lo intentamos. Pero cuando nos enamoramos, caemos en ese clásico cliché. ¿Cuál? “Te necesito”. ¿Te suena? Yo aún no entiendo porque terminamos así---como termine así. Lo único que sé es que cuando amamos a alguien se siente como que sin ellos, fuera imposible respirar. Imposible vivir. Simple. Los necesitamos. Lo necesitas.

Bueno…¿otro cliché? Prometer el amor eterno. Hay personas que sólo lo dicen por la atmosfera de romance que crea. Imbéciles. Inmaduros. Descarados. Sin embargo, hay personas que lo dicen en serio…del corazón---por lo cursi que suene. Hay personas que de verdad se han hundido tanto en este sentimiento que de verdad desean, añoran y necesitan estar con ese alguien por el mayor tiempo posible. ¿Mayor tiempo posible? Un tiempo indefinido…eso que llamamos “eternidad”.

¿Ya te distes cuenta? ¿Ya lo aceptaste? A que durante este tiempo que leías esto sonreías. No porque hayas encontrado gracia en este ensayo, si no porque esa persona ---tu amada/o---apareció en tu mente. Cada escena cliché que has vivido con esa persona volvieron a revivirse en tu mente ¿no? Cada palabra narraba esa película de escenarios clichés en la cual tu eres el /la protagonista. Una película sin sonido; sin embargo, tú ya te sabes el diálogo perfectamente. Adivina que. Cliché.

No escribo esto para hacer sentir débil a los que se consideran inmunes y se tiran de sólidos. Si alguna vez has estado o estas enamorado, se que acordarías conmigo. Si no, si aún no te ha pasado, sólo espera. Cuando caigas, piensa en mis palabras y reconsidera. Nadie es inmune. Nadie es sólido. Nadie es indiferente a este efecto secundario. En fin, esta conclusión puede ser lo más cursi, trillado y cliché de todo esto, pero que más se puede hacer. Nadie es inmune al amor.

Your Smile

I'm not breaking, not tonight
I'm holding on to this fading light
and even with all these tears I cry
I'm saved by the memories of your smile

So you are not the common prince
and this is not the typical fairy tale
and maybe loving you is a sin
but I believe this is what love means

So this may end up being another scar
since we are so far apart
maybe I'm not your guiding star
but how to say no to a bleeding heart?

So this might be another game
because we are going against fate
but by just hearing you say my name
everything turns out okay

so you are another player
and I might be another victim, dear
maybe this will end up being a heart breaker
but for some reason, with you I feel no fear

I'm not breaking, not this time
becase I have found my light
and still with these heart breaking lies
I'll find my way back to your smile

Farewell

As you walk away
I can hear the whisper of everything you have ever said
the memories of all those blissfull days
everything that's now fading away

as you get by the door
the crumbuling sound becomes the background track
can't remember your sweet smile anymore
everything has turned gray, and now black

As you walk out
you whisper some words
but it rang no sound
unable to notice in this crumbling world

Was it "goodbye"?
or were you saying "sorry" my dear?
now I wonder if it was just all a lie
this fairytale I had lived in for years.

Utopia Perdido

Estoy en un mundo de soledad
al parecer, estoy sola en la cuidad
sin ningun lugar adonde ir
en cualquier lugar me pueden herir
solo quiero dejar de sufrir
¿Adonde debo huir?

Twisted Mind

As i stand here in the darkness of the room
i hear from the other side all those noises
as my eyes turn hollow and doom
I try to calm down these killer voices

that thing in the living room keeps screaming
saying words that have no meaning
that thing keeps on pretending
that it can feel love and be caring

My fingers play slowly with a knife
while it keeps saying random words
oh, such a synical smile
it was he who turned me into this rotten girl

it groans words that have no sense
as the air gets thick and tense
oh, he doesnt know about my demense
oh, if i wanted to, he had no chance

it critics me once again
maybe now everything should end
as i grabbed tightly the knife with my hand
oh, you are going down my friend

all of a sudden, it is quite now
there´s no noises, no sound
all of a sudden, theres a red paint on the ground
ha, its hollow body will never be found

now, of course it didn't happen
he is still there, lying without a clue
i'm not twisted enough to make it end
killing it is something i cant do

oh, but what do you know
things change with time
and it might be tomorrow
that he gets to see my sinical smile

Twisted Fantasy

The warm of your arms
is around my neck tonight
as we drawn in each other's warm
oh dear, tonight you are mine

the sweetness of your skin
the addiction increase with every kiss
as I trace down your body with my lips
oh, such a heaven-hell scene

your scent is taking up the air
washing away my sinful fear
since you are with me here
oh, I´m dying for you dear
Your fingers going down my chest
as I slowly tear your dress
oh, tonight you are mine dear
tonight you'll end with my physical emptiness

the sweetness of the noises you make
oh, please my dear, stay
the addiction for your taste
oh, please dear, one more day

Your body is moving slowly for the last time
oh, such a lustful night
you are finally mine
I won't let my hopes die

But, what amaze my eyes
as your face is lit by that unknown smile
as the moon lit up the dark sky
it isn't you the one by my side
oh dear, another hopeless night

Remember

Smile up my dear
even when you feel fear
because I will always be near
because you will always have me here

No need to close up
no need to make this stop
just seeing you happy is enough
you are my everything, my love

We have all fallen
we are all broken
but remember that you are not alone
remember that we move along

I might be weak
I am no superman
but I will try all i can
i will never let go off your hand

just remember you are my life
just remember you are my light
just remember that for this i will always fight
just dont forget my dear
that you have such a wonderful smile

Script

There she stands
in the middle of the empty room
alone in this deadly dance
oh, her fairy tale is doomed

she walks slowly around the play
holding tightly the script she made
wondering why none of the right lines are said
wondering why the scene feels so dead

of course she knows what's wrong
of course she knows she's all alone
is just that she is not that strong
so she has planned on lying to herself
all life long

She tries to be the heroin in every scene
She acts as if she was the justice of a broken world
trying to be a heroin that no one has ever seen
but at the end she is just a twisted little girl

She smiles to herself, alone
as her mind plays the background song
sitting away in her comfort zone
she pretends she's wize and strong

oh my, oh my
can't you see that wicked smile?
she's no longer sane
can't you hear her cry at night?
oh my, oh my
can't you see those hopeless eyes?
she's no longer here
can't you see she's lost on her own mind?

And so the play continues in her head
the perfect sceneario in her mind
as she embrace herself alone in the bed
and now, another tearful night

When will she finally agree
that she's lost and weak?
when will she finally see
that she'll fade if she continues like this?

She tries to beat her biggest fear,
the fear of being alone, with lies of a perfect world
for she knows no one cares
for she knows she's a broken girl

oh my, oh my
can't you see her cry?
she's no longer bright
can't you see she lost her light?
oh my, oh my
can't you see her die?

Recuerdos de un Falso Amor

El cielo de la noche se pone cada vez más obscura
inundando mi alma en tristesa y amargura.
Tal vez sí estoy dejando que esté amor, mi corazón destruya;
olvidandome de toda felicidad o ternura

Recuerdos de una vida pasada
de felicidad y amor,
que en mi alma estan plasmadas
pero que ahora sólo me llenan de tristesa y dolor

Ya no se ni que pensar ni sentir
al verte hablar, ya que sueles mentir.
Sólo quiero dejar de llorar y sufrir;
ya no quiero en esta mentira vivir,
pero la fe del angel caído no me lo va a permitir.
Ya he perdido toda razón para continuar o seguir

Al ver el cielo derrumbarse ante mí,
me doy cuenta de que enrealidad nunca te conocí;
sólo a tu mascara que simplemente sabe mentir
y ocultar el sufrimiento y dolor en si

Recuerdo los días en que decías "te amo"
y ahora tú eres el que me termina haciendo daño.
Recuerdo las veces que me cuidabas y abrazabas
y aquellos que vivíamos juntos cada minuto que pasaba.
Recuerdo cuando jugastes con lo que sentía y pensaba
y esa vez que me sonreías cuando en tus mentiras me ahogaba.

Mi corazón a perdido su luz y calor,
al inundarme en tu falso amor,
pintnado mi vida con tristesa y dolor...

Pupperteer

Just move your fingers dear
and I'll move in sync with you
control me like you have for all these years
with those strings, oh, im such a fool

Say every scripted word
I'm your little maniqui doll
I'm the desperate little girl
am i playing right my mindless role?

make my hair
draw me tears
take away the years
which i lived without fear

Play with my mind again
fill me with tears and fear
lie to me about love my friend
treat me as if you really cared

paint my lips
break my skin
make me feel
all your hateful sins

oh, tighten up the strings, my love
that I'm getting loose
or this love act will stop
oh, continue controling my moves

Move my arms
cause me harm
move my leg
make me beg

So I'm your puppet
make me move with a lie
oh, no one can stop it
draw in me a fake smile

move my hand
erease what i understand
move my head
make me break

I'm getting tire dear
well, I really am useless
juggle away with jokes and tears
oh, you really are loveless

kiss my cheeks
poison my lips
help me see
these lies that wont set me free

so I'm breaking up, aren't I?
so I'm losing my doll like smile
just sew me up tonight
I am rotten, aren't I?

oh sorry my dear
but the strings have losen up
and after so many years
tonight, I'll be gone
say bye to your little broken doll

Obsession

So the darkness is still taking over
the time to heal is taking a little longer
I though this would make me stronger
but oh, I fear this will last forever

So I'm still humming our song
the lyrics are still invading my mind
so I never though this would go so wrong
oh, I am still thinking of you tonight

Your melody is still ringing loud
blocking any other sound
I don't even have the strenght to shout
oh, I am now burried underground

If I could I would break away
but I'm still dreaming about your warm
If I could only make this fade away
oh dear, you made me so much harm

but this bitter sweetness has taken over me
if you knew how rotten I am inside
this cursed fantasy will never let me free
oh, if you knew what lies within my mind

If I could just start and move on
but I'm still thinking about our broken love
If I could just be strong
oh dear, why wasn't I enough?

Now you know how deep I have fallen
so just keep on singing, my dear fantasy
Now you know that I am twisted and broken
run away my dear, run away from the insanity

Love Me Not

Break me not
block the shot
make this stop
hate me not

hold my heart again
oh please, don't leave me my friend
end this senseless game
make this hollow life end

make me feel alive with those charming eyes
stop with your warmth this pity tears I cry
show me how to be simple, how to smile
please, break all their stupid lies

This is all I ask for, my dear
but of course I know what's real
which is my biggest fear...
...that love is not what you feel.

You care no more
you won't make it stop
you are not the one from before
you love me not

Lo Que Una Vez Fui

Abro los ojos ahora que mi esperanza perdí
Me veo rodeada por esta gran oscuridad
y me pregunto si fue real lo que una vez viví

Bajo el cielo oscuro con estrellas apagadas
por este lugar ya camino cansada
tratando de recordar si alguna vez fui amada
¿cómo es que termine sola y abandonada?

El tiempo pasa y yo sigo aquí
¿será que por tanto rogar por fin del mundo desaparecí?
¿será que en realidad nunca existí?
¿Cómo probar que fue real lo que una vez viví?

Bajo estas nubes negras y escalofriante viento
busco una salida desesperada
antes de ahogarme en este solitario sentimiento
antes de rendirme ante este gran dolor que siento

La noche parece no acabar
Al parecer nadie me va a salvar
Al parecer esta soledad me va a matar
soñando con una felicidad imposible de alcanzar

Abro los ojos con mi corazón herido
sin saber si fue real lo que he vivido
despierto soñando con lo que hubiera sido
he aprendido a apreciarte
ahora que no estás, ahora que te he perdido

Gravity

I'm falling from the sky
from the top of the world
chasing a never fading light
getting lost in your dark eyes

I'm falling deeper this time
since you are everything I got
holding this broken heart of mine
with everything that I haven't lost

The speed is increasing
the deepness is higher
all this sanity I'm losing
just hold my hand tighter

But somehow, I dont care
if I'm falling for good or for bad
as long as you are with me here
somehow, I know this will last

But somehow, I dont mind falling
for I'm not looking for someone to save me
I don't mind the tripping and the crawling
for I know thats how life is going to be

I'm falling at such a speed
that there's no way I can stop
you have broke something inside of me
breaking the real me free

I´m falling down for you my dear
and there's no need to save me now
I'm still filled with a bit of fear
yet I know,I wont crash on the ground
just let get lost together in a land that will never be found

During All This Time

During all this time
I've been alone
without nothing but critic eyes
judging everything I've ever done

During all this time
I've been broken
without my usual light
the one that has been stolen

Somehow you grabbed me
before I felt into the nothing
as impossible as this could be
you became my everything

Now we are falling together
I have no idea why
but you are making me believe in forever
saving me from the demons inside

During all this time
you were here
but I was foolish, I was blind
but know, everything is clear
a fairy tale about you and I

Dulce Hogar

Prefiero estar sola
que volver a ser herida
perfiero alejarme de ti
a que sigas hablando mal de mi
no me importa cuantos son
pero esto sigue dañandome el corazon
aun, aun con esto
tengo esperanzas
de que todo vuelva a empezar
mi vida, mi destino en otro lugar
al que pueda llamar dulce hogar

Broken Doll

The little doll
resembles a broken girl
torn apart with harmful words
broke apart by this fucked up world

her dark curls are all messed up
oh, it is filled with unluck
her face gets wet with every rain drop
oh, her loneliness won't stop

Her chest is turned apart
as it someone had stolen it's hollow heart
her big eyes are cold and dark
body filled with cuts and scars

I never though I would find this doll
a doll that represents a broken girl
torn apart by this fucked up world
I never though I'd see myself on a doll

Broken

I'm here without you my love
and it seems that emptyness is all I got
and without you nothing seems enough
my heart is breaking and turning into dust

Now that you are so far away
is when I notice that I'm really broken my dear
I have no idea of how I feel, nor what I say
for everything inside is a mess and nothing is clear
Its as if my body became numb ever since that day
and I'm being raw eaten by these evil fears

I'm here waiting to come back to you
for I'm just here missing you like a fool
and everything I think is about what would you do?
would you still love me? would you still miss me too?

I am nothing since everything is breaking down
I have lost the hope that I thought I had already found
I hear nothing just the breaking sound
Oh I'm so broken now
will you still love me now?

I regret the pain I have cause your heart
please forgive all the mistakes I made
I regret letting you fall into the dark
because of the wrong things I said
I regret dooming you since the start
you can go away if it is not too late
don't worry about me
I will be happy just by seeing you shine like a star

After Love

The light of your eyes.
The scent of your skin.
The warm of your smile.
The sweetness of your lips.

The sound of your voice,
and the beauty of your face.
You really didn't give me more choice;
you knew I would fall from grace.

The feeling of love.
The feeling of being good enough.
The feeling of being strong and tough.
The feeling of being left alone.

And now is when I wonder
what lied behind that smile;
you knew I wouldn't live much longer.
You made such a wonderful lie

And now I wonder
was nothing really as it seemed;
you couldn't take it any longer,
you woke me up from such wonderful dream.

Dejemos Todo Lo Demas En La Oscuridad

Dejemos el rodeo ya
sabemos bien cual es la verdad.
Lo único que hay es deseo corporal.
Dejemos todo en la oscuridad.

Yo quiero tu cuerpo,
y tu deseas el mío;
inquietos por el fuego,
perdidos en este fugaz amorío

No hay necesidad de mentir;
no hablaremos de amor.
Placer es todo lo que deseo sentir,
ahogado en tu calor.

Dejemos las formalidades,
calmemos el deseo corporal.
Conozco tus inmoralidades,
cuando salga el sol será el final.

Contradicción

Hoy me doy cuenta de mi debilidad;
de como encuentro luz en la oscuridad
ya que mi fantasía es la realidad,
tu eres mi muerte y mi inmortalidad

Hoy me doy cuenta de la contradicción.
Que mi vida es un desbalance balanceado.
Eres una mala bendición;
un deseo de cuento de hadas no deseado

La forma como me salvas,
pero como el miedo abre heridas.
Como contigo me pierdo,
escapando del dolor y las mentiras

El modo como la debilidad me hace fuerte;
como puedo vivir autentica gracias a ti;
como enfrento con miedo a la muerte;
como me encontré el día que contigo me perdí.

Love or Death

I stand here
filling my lungs with air,
and my heart with fear.

I stand alone
acting all strong;
knowing it is all wrong.

The absences of your body.
The feeling of being lonely.
The need of love, honey;
fuck fame and money.

The loneliness in this bed.
The mess inside my head.
Oh, I'm already trapped in this loveless net.
So who will arrive first; love or death?